Singing in the Dark: My Family's 100-year Christmas Tradition
All we have is our song, sung in a dark room lit only by candles and the soft lights of our Christmas tree—and that alone is more than enough to keep our hearts warm.
A tradition from Grandma
Every Christmas eve, my family gathers around the Christmas tree, holds hands, and sings the same song we have sung for over a century.
My mother’s great grandparents were poor immigrants from Denmark, and as a result, I have no physical trinkets, or boxes, or even pictures from their homeland. I never met them, and my Grandmother’s generation was the first to not speak Danish. And so all we have is our song, sung in a dark room lit only by candles and the soft lights of our Christmas tree.
While singing, we slowly walk around the branches dotted with ornaments, changing directions and increasing in speed with each repeat of the verse. None of us understand the lyrics, and we're probably pronouncing everything wrong, but that doesn't matter – we're keeping a family tradition alive.
In addition to singing “Nu er det jul igen” (Translation: “Now it’s Christmas again”) we spend up to an hour singing other Christmas songs. Each family member chooses a song, which of course range from the silly to the heartfelt, from the old and religious to Mariah Carey’s ‘All I want for Christmas is You’.
This tradition is so special because it creates a sense of unity and reverence which is rare for me, and, I suspect, for most families. While I sometimes wish it happened more than once a year, its rarity does give it a special, lovesoaked feeling. While I would still enjoy it even if it weren’t such an old tradition, that does make it even more special.
My contribution to the tradition
Because we sing Christmas songs every year, they’ve always held a special place in my heart. For years, I worked on my own Christmas song, because one of my creative goals was to add something to our tradition, and create something that others could share during the season. People criticize Christmas songs, but they are really the only songs that you know will be played every year, at the same time, and that is kind of special.
Last year, I achieved that goal and released Christmas Day, which is an original song I wrote and recorded under the artist name ‘Lonely Singles’. Although Grandma didn’t live to hear the final song, I got to play her an early version on acoustic guitar a few months before she passed away. And thanks to my sister, who saved her voicemails, I added her saying “love you” to the ending of the song.
On the cover is an old photo of Grandma and her family. I intentionally chose a picture of her when she was young, because I know there was once a time when she was like me–holding hands with her parents and siblings, walking in the dark near a tree. Without her careful stewardship of the tradition, my song wouldn’t exist.
Here’s a mini documentary friends and I created about the song last year!
And so this little song is my contribution to Christmas, and I feel so lucky that I was able to have wonderful friends sing on the track. While I wrote the music and lyrics, the emotional resonance of the song is, for me, due to the others who added their voices and talents to the recording. And perhaps even more powerfully, having friends help me create new traditions reminds me that family is not just blood or marriage–it’s who we choose to go through life with.
What Christmas means to me
As much as I treasure my song and our family traditions, the meaning of the season is so much deeper:
The first Christmas was simple: A poor child, born in obscurity, with scared, young parents who had nowhere else to go.
Christmas reminds us that we find the divine amidst the weak, and that we can find salvation and hope not from the physical items we have, but from the love that is in our hearts.
And whether you choose to take the story as a miraculous truth or a beautiful metaphor for human goodness, it certainly is a story worth thinking about.
Whether you are receiving presents, whether you’re working late, whether you’re spending the day with family or alone, and whether you are celebrating at all, there is a spark of the divine in all of us. And that spark might just be brightest in those places and moments where the wealth of the world is absent.
I know Christmas isn’t an easy time of year for everyone. While I find great joy in the season, it’s natural for many to have mixed feelings about a time that blends family, religion, and cold weather.* And so, if you’re one of the people who will read this message, whether you are experiencing mixed feelings or joy this year, I wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas, and lots of love, hope, and creativity into the new year.
Please leave a comment about what Christmas means to you–I’d love to hear about your personal traditions!
Also, I am doing another post on Christmas Day giving thanks to creators and others I have met on Substack. If you are a friend or a friend-to-be, and have a short message of thanks you’d like me to include in the post, please comment below, but do so soon. Even if we haven’t met yet, I’m always happy to make new friends, especially during this season. I’m happy to link to your substack or website!
🎅🏻 by the way- here’s my chill christmas playlist 🎄
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Merry Christmas my qinaide
Merry Christmas to all of you, having a historically connected celebrations together with the family is a blessing!