25 Thoughts for 2025
Some notes on holding hope amidst loss, finding beauty in ordinary moments, and having a great year.
2025 is upon us, and I wanted to share these 25 life lessons I’ve learned, to reflect on the coming year.
Joy exists besides sorrow. This year, one of my closest friends lost his struggle with depression two days before my sister's wedding. Somehow, she had chosen me to deliver their vows, despite not being a pastor, and in that moment I was struck with the thought that as our family's life was expanding and filled with hope, my close friend's family was inconsolable. I have to believe that he would have wanted me to be happy, despite it all.
Whether we were created by divine intervention or simply emerged from cosmic chance, our existence is miraculous. Consider: If God made you, you're a blessing. If random series of events did, you're even more extraordinary - the result of billions of years of perfect accidents all leading to this moment.
Oregon "Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands." This quote from Linda Hogan reminds me how precious and beautiful and improbable and perhaps destined my own life is—and yours is too
As much as possible, view your own life as a work of art. Creating art or finding success is great, but the journey itself is the real masterpiece. If we truly think that way, we can have deeper appreciation for small moments, and be more driven to achieve our dreams.
Something normal, and maybe even boring, about your everyday life today is something you'll deeply treasure and miss someday in the future. The ordinary moments are often the ones we'll long for most.
W.S. Merwin has a poem where he mentions that every year we pass the date we will die. That's one of those obvious but deep insights that makes great poetry so meaningful.
Nobody chooses when, where, how, or who they are when they are born. In a very real sense, a person of a totally different gender, race, religion, and age is just like you. We're all just trying to make sense of the life we were given.
Sydney My girlfriend is from China and when we started dating she told me that I should stop saying thank you when she did small favors for me, because it implied distance. If we were close, she said, I would not need to thank her, since I wouldn't be surprised that she did nice things for me. But I was raised the opposite way. My parents often thank each other, and taught me to do so too. In my mind, those I care for deserved extra thanks. What I love about this story is that we both had the same goal—expressing appreciation and closeness—but our cultural backgrounds led us to seek the same goal the exact opposite way. Remember this the next time someone you care about acts in a surprising way.
The way you live your life greatly influences your creative output. Your art flows from your experiences, your choices, and how deeply you engage with the world around you.
Creative friction is part of what makes your art great: It's not easy to create a masterpiece, but the difficulty of trying is what gives you the power to eventually do so
Hong Kong The mental blocks which prevent us from becoming more creative, or interesting, or literate, or starting that novel, or whatever else you want to do, are often bigger than the task itself. The hardest part is often in our minds.
If you have an unrealized dream, getting started is the most important part. Beginning is often more crucial than being ready.
Universities are one way to travel: When I was twelve, I visited Hong Kong and knew I had to live there someday. I always figured I'd have to do it after university. But then I realized I could just apply and go—I got a partial scholarship—and so I moved to Hong Kong at 18 with no friends or relatives there. I am so glad I took that risk, and looking back, it wasn't much of a risk, because I could always come back to the US if I had to.
Being the best version of yourself attracts people who will help you stay that way.
Virginia In romance and love, the vast number of people who are not compatible with you is a blessing, not a curse. All you need is one great match.
If you take someone on a date, your initial goal should always be to make them feel better about themselves than when the date started. If you realize you can’t or don’t want to do this, you know you’re not compatible.
Cross generational friendships can bring perspective, joy, and unexpected connections. Again, nobody chooses when they are born. If you’re younger, you can learn so much from friends from a different generation.
Different life stages are optimized for different personality traits. Childhood and teen years are often difficult for introverted, patient, and creative individuals, because energy and confidence are valued more than quiet reflection. But these traits become more and more valuable over your lifetime. You don’t have to excel at every stage of life, just survive. (And sometimes, merely surviving is excelling).
Almost nothing is worth fighting about. But some things are worth fighting for. And if you have to fight, fight to win.
A little effort brings big results: A small amount of cooking skill will dramatically improve your life. A few local phrases might earn you smiles and help in a foreign country. Small investments often yield surprising returns. And a quiet, genuine compliment can create a lifelong friendship
LA The act of playing music has a beautiful quality which is different from listening to it. If you love music, but can’t play an instrument, you owe it to yourself to try.
Everything is rented, everything is borrowed, except our life itself, which is a gift from our parents.
People in the past were just like us. Their hopes, fears, and dreams weren't so different from our own.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, so advice that is revelatory to one person may be obvious, or even counterproductive, to another. That’s another way of saying, while getting the opinions of others is very valuable, eventually you need to decide for yourself what you want to be.1
In an era of political drama, the work of great artists reminds us that 1) times have been worse before, and 2) priceless art was created despite dark times.
What advice would you add to this list? Please let me know in the comments.
I also wanted to briefly celebrate a song I released in 2024 I am proud of, called ‘Rebecca’s Song’. I’d be honored if you gave it a listen.
And as we look towards 2025, I would be remiss in not thanking many of the other Substackers and creators who have made this year here truly special for me. I know I am going to forget a few people, since I have met so many great writers, so please forgive me.
A description that stuck with me:
I randomly think of
’s description of a “devastatingly ambrosian cheesecake,” from this post in , way too often.A newsletter from a poet I admire:
And, I was grateful to see
, whose poetry I admire, has a Substack, .Newsletters of note:
’s fantastic newsletter is worth your subscription in 2025, as is Alan Henry’s Productivity Without Privilege.Visual stories:
Recently I have loved seeing
’s travel photography posted to notes.New friends from Substack:
Some other friends I have made along the way this year are
, the author of , , who authors , and who authors , and , the author ofLast but not least: Special thanks to
, , , , and the entire Substack team.I hope everyone has a fantastic 2025, i’m excited to live it with you. And, thank you if you are reading this and made it this far!
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I realize I am giving advice about eventually tuning out advice.
Thank you for these wonderful thoughts many of which I resonate with. Also a big one for me this year has been finding a physical community. Going to writing clubs, running groups and feeling a part of something. This has been equal parts scary and fulfilling. Thank you looking forward to our 2025 ✨
I'm sorry that you have lost one of your best friends. there is nothing else that can fill that gap in our hearts.